I’d like to hear your suggestions for a new tag to classify all these posts.

Here’s my translation of Paraguay’s Última Hora:

Benigna Leguizamón annouced on Monday that she has given the president 24 hours to recognise her six-year-old son. The woman resides in Ciudad del Este y assures she held relations with the head of State during his stay in San Pedro, where the now president was a bishop.

DNA testing is pending, but Lugo inspires little confidence at the moment.Three of his female ministers are calling on him to set his record straight. I mean, how can you govern or pay attention to anything else when every week you get a new story? Is Lugo trying to enact national social reform as a way to give alimony to his vast and anonymous progeny? What the hell, man? Seriously, though, this is, like, the opposite of a good thing.

There’s video here in Spanish where Leguizamón complains that Lugo never took responsibility for the child. This story is even more damning than the previous one. This child was born in 2002, back when Lugo had no political aspirations. Having no illusions of becoming a civilian at the time, Lugo behaves like the scum of the earth for six years.

On the one hand he is better than most by admitting things quite quickly. On the other had, he seemed to be neglecting his duties, which prompted the mother to sue him. That’s pretty scummy.

I’m still holding judgement on the personal aspects of the story because no facts are in. I have nothing against consensual sex between adults, despite the age difference. The fact that he was a priest doesn’t really concern me; it’s not like priests breaking their vows is a new thing. If the relation did not start when Viviana Carrillo was underage I guess it’s OK. There’s still the chance that Carrillo was an adult victim of abuse or coercion, but there is at the moment no indication to feed those rumours.

Running in politics was bad enough for Lugo’s standing in the Roman Catholic  Church, but sex with non-altar-boys may be too much for the Vatican. This seduction will not stand, man.

Yeah, so, over ten days ago Paraguayan president Fernando Lugo ended up dismissing Margarita Mbywangi from her cabinet position. She was in the job for about four months before the axe came down. Lugo gave no reasons for the dismissal, you can sense he was wary of compounding on the issue with statements that would lead to misinterpretation and further dispute.

What is there to say, really? If I had to read a press release for this move I would probably stand behind the podium and say “HAPPY NOW?” and proceed to drink vodka straight from the bottle right then and there. We’ll never achieve 1 pony per capita if all this real-world strife keeps getting in the way.

Wrong.

The move has proven more romantic than pragmatic. Right off the bat she faced harsh criticism from other Indian groups who feared favouritism towards the Ache. And of course, her lack of academic qualifications provided a serious hindrance to her acceptance. Less than 100 days into her post she has executed at least one miscalculation that has caused persistent protests. I translate from Paraguay’s ABC newspaper:

The natives accuse Mbywangi of running over the community autonomy as she visited the Fortuna colony, where she might have selected Rómulo Acosta, whom she proclaimed as leader of the ava guaraní upon her return to Asunción. With that decision she left aside Angel Vera, who had achieved 240 votes in the elections against the 150 of his opponent Acosta.

The manifestation started around 8:00, when some 150 natives arrived to the Indi’s front and shouted requests for Mbywangi’s resignation. After a few minutes they tried to force the entrance as if to take the institution, but four police agents impeded the advance of the natives.

In another odd twist (more Spanish links, I’m sorry but Google isn’t giving me anything in English), the Secretary for National Emergencies, Gladys “Heck of a job” Cardozo, has agreed to provide the protesters with food packages, rations and portable toilets so they can camp out in a nearby plaza. You would expect National Ministries reporting to the same authority to show some fraternal bond, but it appears SEN are trying to stay on the good sides of the ethnic communities, or even hinting their disapproval for Mbywangi.

I’m glad I have no clue how to go about fixing these sorts of real world problems. I would hate to have a constructive idea on how to make everybody happy. I would find myself being whisked to Asunción, given rush-citizenship status with complimentary ex-bishopric and being told to go about fixing the darn issues. I’d hate to be the guy telling ethnic groups to STFU or telling an accomplished former slave her resume still isn’t sufficient and that so far “UR DOIN IT RONG”.

(Yes, I quote Emmet Fitz-Hume in the title. He saved the world. Shut up.)